Why I Sold Out

                   I am a successful black man. I am successful career wise, social
                   wise, and financially. I`ve been investing in the market since the
                   mid-80`s when I received my bachelor`s degree and have really
                   reaped the benefits.

                   Due to this, I have been able to pay off student loans, finance
                   graduate school without additional loans, pay for my home,
                   automobiles, and still keep money in the bank. The lessons on
                   investment I got from my dad (R.I.P.), even though he was a
                   custodian - he knew how a black person could "turn ground beef
                   into T-Bone" through simple, sane, and consistent investment.

                   So, I`m doing well on that end. I work out and keep my body in
                   good shape. Plus, I don`t smoke and drink once in a great while. I
                   love life and am determined to get the most out of it. I also believe
                   in God and attend church every Sunday.

                   I date white women exclusively. Well, I should say "non-African
                   American women" exclusively. I have dated women of
                   Hispanic-American women, Asian-American woman, and am
                   currently in a serious relationship with a woman of Middle Eastern
                   descent. I can`t say whether or not that relationship will work out.
                   But, I can say that I have no plans and foresee no plans of EVER
                   dating African-American women again.

                   So, I guess I`m what you call a sell out. Why? Well, as little as 3
                   years ago - I felt that black men who dated white women were
                   sellouts. Strongly believed it, vocally endorsed it, and said it. In
                   fact, I met a beautiful white woman in 1993 who was very
                   attractive, had a sparkling personality, and beautiful red hair. We
                   got along well and when she wanted more, I backed off ONLY
                   because she was white. She moved on, met, and married a white
                   guy and they have 2 beautiful kids now.

                   But, I just got tired of the black woman drama. And, when black
                   men who date white women say that they choose to do so because
                   of "black woman drama" I know exactly what they are talking

                   Women who could not disagree without getting loud. Women who
                   gotta talk about what other women do or don`t have, what does or
                   doesn`t look right on them, who "got their nerve", or "who does she
                   think she is", or "no, she didn`t".

                   I got tired of all that "black" mentality. I got tired of disagreements
                   having to always end up with a loud argument. I got tired of taking
                   sisters to a nice restaurant and, if the food isn`t prepared right,
                   watch her get an attitude with the waiter.

                   I got tired of "you can`t run my fingers through my hair...that will
                   mess it up". I got tired of planning a romantic weekend, then have
                   it ruined because she had an attitude because something didn`t go
                   her way at work on Friday. I got tired of planning social events,
                   then not having my woman want to go because she didn`t like the
                   "attitude" of someone who was going to be there. I got tired of
                   trying to plan for the future financially but dealing with women who
                   ran to the mall soon as they got paid and didn`t want to leave until
                   they were nearly broke.

                   I got tired of sisters who didn`t try to work out or take care of
                   their bodies but had nothing but nastiness to say about those who
                   chose to have enough self respect to take care of themselves. I
                   got tired of taking sisters to elegant affairs and then watch them
                   have nothing better to do but to comment on what was wrong with
                   the affair. "That music gots to go", "The salad don`t taste right",
                   "That woman over there needs a breast reduction". It`s amazing,
                   but when we went to "black" movie like "Friday" or some Master P
                   garbage - nothing was ever wrong.

                   I got tired of sisters who could never find or make time to go to the
                   gym, but always made their nail and hair appointments religiously. I
                   got tired of sisters who felt success always had to have a financial
                   aspect. Tired of dealing with "successful" black women who were
                   just all into keeping up with the Joneses. Women with bad credit.
                   Shopping at Sak`s when they have a K-Mart budget. Buying stuff
                   they can`t afford to show off. Sick of it. I got tired of women who
                   never have time to read a decent book, but make it a point to buy
                   every issue of Sister 2 Sister, Essence, Ebony, and never miss a
                   soap opera.

                   I got tired of planning adventerous sex and then having it blown off
                   with "I don`t do that" or "Uh huh". Now, I am not talking bondage,
                   S&M, or anything like that. But, maybe turning on some blacklights
                   and painting each other with flourescent body paints or oiling each
                   others bodies down or making love in my hot tub, or maybe even in
                   the greenhouse that I built last year behind my home.

                   I got tired of hot love making sessions come to a shattering end
                   because her nail broke. I got tired of that funky attitude, that
                   nasty ass confrontation demeanor, that "me first" mentality, that
                   low level of thinking. I got tired of black women and the drama that
                   always comes with dating one. I got tired of women who don`t let
                   a man be a man and make the critical decisions but instead butt
                   him on every turn and them call him trifling or weak if he just gives
                   up. Now, I know the first thing some of you women are saying is "I
                   bet he dates women that even white men don`t want". Nope,
                   every white woman I date is fine. Ultra fine. Bodies like Jennifer
                   Lopez. Faces like Vanessa Williams. I have high standards in
                   everything from cologne, to clothes which I have fitted), to food (I
                   don`t eat red meat, fried food, or artificially preserved
                   fruits/vegetables), to women (I don`t date women who don`t take
                   care of their bodies, minds, or souls).

                   The women I date are up to my standards (which are high), can
                   wear 2 piece swimsuits with no embarassment, can tell you the
                   difference between a Modernist, Post-Impressionist, Post-Modern,
                   or Contemporary painting, can explain what a diversified portfolio is
                   and why it is an asset, etc.

                   And, the women I date are nice women. Nice people. Very nice. If
                   you car is broke down she would call help on her cell phone for you.
                   If you are on the street begging for money, she would share some
                   with you. When I babysit my nieces and nephews, my woman
                   comes over to help me out - changing diapers and wiping baby
                   booties with me.

                   I was fine dining with my girlfriend and the waiter accidentally
                   spilled wine on her white silk suit? Did she trip? No. Did she get
                   loud? No. She excused herself and tried to wipe it out. It didn`t.
                   And, she patiently and politely explained to the manager that the
                   stain may not come out, the suit cost over $300, and she just felt
                   that, even though it was a total accident - that the store pay for
                   the cleaning cost or a new suit.

                   And, also asked that the waiter not be punished - it was a dark
                   restaurant and it was an honest mistake. That is nice. A black
                   woman would have been loud and belligerent -and made a scene.
                   Then wailed on about the cost of the suit. My woman, politely got
                   everything in order, then we sat and enjoyed our meal.

                   Interestingly, there was a table of black professional women about
                   5 feet away who witnessed the entire situation. We could hear
                   them go on and on about how they would have "went off", got
                   money for a new suit "on the spot", or claimed the suit cost more
                   than it actually did. I`m so glad I no longer date black women.

                   To make it short - I got tired of the black woman mentality. I`m
                   just putting it out there. A lot of black men who date white won`t
                   say it - but a lot of them know it is true. While I am trying to not
                   generalize, my experience is that most black women got an
                   "attitude". They like to call it being "real", or being
                   "straightforward", or "speaking their mind". But, the attitude is just
                   really a nastiness that says "I can`t disagree without being

                   I can`t let others be different without belittling them for their
                   difference. What others think of me is more important than what I
                   think of myself. All money is meant to be spent ASAP without
                   thought for tomorrow. Once, I was considering whether I had made
                   a mistake in dating non-black women so I talked to my mom. Now,
                   my mom is pure pro-black. As a college student, she marched with
                   MLK and even was at the march on Washington. She was arrested
                   at a sit-in down in Alabama during the early 1960`s. She worked
                   with voter registration drives and is now retired. And, I asked mom
                   if I was wrong in refusing to consider dating a black woman.

                   This is what my mom told me... My mom told me "Black women
                   today are not what they were when I was your age. We had pride,
                   we would never be caught dead in a movie theater paying to see a
                   movie that denigrates blacks such as "Friday" or "Booty Call". I have
                   nice material things now, but I accumulated those through a life of
                   hard work and wise choices - not by making money the #1 thing. I
                   had no problem taking off your dad`s shoes and massaging his feet.
                   I had no problem when he spent a night out with his male friends. I
                   had no problem disagreeing with him on issues. I had no problem
                   letting your father be a man and making the decisions that ran our
                   household. But, the black women today do not allow black men to
                   be men. They want to wrest the mantle of leadership from the man
                   and get an attitude when he tries to be a man then call him
                   "trifling" if he gives up."

                   She added "I can`t blame a young successful black man for not
                   dating black women today. It is hard enough to achieve success if
                   you are a black man and it is stressful enough to deal with the
                   rigors of being a black man in today`s world. A black man does not
                   need the stress of a woman who constantly keeps drama going and
                   just can`t enjoy life even when it doesn`t go her way. From the
                   way our women have went, I just can`t blame a man today for
                   dating white."

                   Critics expose themselves, Not too long ago, my girlfriend and I
                   stopped at a restaurant and were eating. Across the way were
                   some black females who gave my girlfriend that up-and-down look
                   and then cut their eyes to each other in a look of disgust.

                   Now these women were all at least 200 lbs, sloppy fat, black
                   women. And, they kept looking to us and letting their voices raise
                   so we could hear "jungle fever", "sell out", "weak nigga", etc. Next,
                   it went to "she probably went down on him to get him to leave his
                   wife", "you know she lets him cum in her mouth", "you know he
                   must have a small penis", "she`s nothing but white trailer trash",
                   "loser", "slut", "hoe", "punk".

                   And, that is what I found about nearly all black women who have a
                   problem with a black man dating only white. They have serious
                   issues with their own esteem and try to cover up these issues by
                   attacking black men who date only white women. They can`t
                   disagree without being insulting and making insulting remarks about
                   white women`s bodies, lifestyles, sexual habits or making insults
                   about the black man who date white women.

                   I date only white women. I used to date black but I got tired of
                   wasting gentlemen qualities on women who don`t appreciate and
                   therefore don`t deserve them. And, I speak for a lot of brothers
                   because I have talked to lot of brothers.

                   Remember Clarence Thomas? Hmmm, he`s married to a white
                   woman but it was a black woman who was trying to ruin his career.
                   While Anita Hill made unfounded slurs about him, Clarence`s wife
                   showed incredible and dignified restraint. I date only white women.
                   I refuse to go back to black women